Two years ago. When I was thirteen.
My father grew rice, manioc. Some beans.
My brothers, sisters, and grandparents were inside.
∗
My four children. All saw.
Our smallest son
woke us —
Father, I hear voices.
∗
I am fine. I have food.
A place to sleep
and wash my clothes.
Me? I am eighteen,
They are teaching me to knit.
∗
I was walking from school with six other girls.
We were twelve, thirteen. Seven soldiers
started walking with us.
∗
It was evening. We were sleeping.
∗
It was late at night.
I do not know the time.
∗
I liked to plant cassava seeds
with my mother,
∗
When they finished raping me.
they took me outside and said, There is your husband,
They had cut off his head.
They had cut off his arms and legs.
They forced me to carry
the things they took from the hut.
∗
What made me happiest?
Working in the fields
with my father.
∗
I was sixteen years.
It was October 14th. A Friday.
∗
Since they came at night
we slept in the fields
and the forest.
∗
The one who chose me
raped me every night
with his hat pulled over his eyes.
∗
We had no money. None of us went to school.
My father searched for gold
in the streams.
∗
While they raped me
they made only noises.
∗
While the commander raped me
he always asked,
Do you love me, Do you love me?
∗
My husband said, Take the children.
Leave. Interhamwe sex is all I see
when I see you.
∗
I wished I was dead.
I wouldn’t eat.
Then I would remember
my children.
∗
I never wished I was dead, though.
∗
He would rape me and rape me.
I thought I would be dead
like my father.
∗
I was dead inside.
But girls said,
If you look sad
they will kill you.
∗
When I escaped it was like God
was trying to help me.
∗
I do not know who allowed this.
It was not God.
It was Satan.
∗
It was God’s will—
while they were raping me
my husband escaped.
∗
I would be very happy
if I heard he was killed.
He destroyed my life.
∗
Only God can judge.
If you kill your brother
you will be killed
by the same knife
∗
They kept girls tied to trees.
They shot some.
They buried others alive.
Some girls lived.
